Somewhere over Utah: Bennigan's/United Airlines

Turkey O'Toole - 0 stars
$10 with potato chips and chocolate chip cookie

As most of you know, airlines began selling food on board a couple years ago in a desperate effort to earn a few extra bucks. Until now, I resisted this trend on the grounds that airport food was better and cheaper. But on Tuesday, I barely had time to catch my plane (I didn't even fill up the gas in my rental car, for the first time in over three years - but don't worry, John, I won't bill the gas charges), so I didn't have time to buy anything, and it was a choice between the embarrassingly named turkey sandwich or arriving at O'Hare at 10 PM without dinner. (Lunch at Shalizaar on 25th Ave., on Shakeel's recommendation, was quite good, but since there was no way to get the chicken kabob on bread, I couldn't justify a review.)

Well, my worst fears were confirmed. The sandwich was a couple slices of obviously processed turkey breast with an unremarkable slice of Swiss cheese - and that was the high point. It was served on "our unique pretzel roll," which was more like a flattened, unpleasantly dense croissant with a greasy surface, and the promised "Honey Dijon dressing" was nowhere to be found. To add insult to injury, the promised Kettle potato chips and Eli's cheesecake were replaced by Ruffles and an oversized chocolate chip cookie so laden with preservatives and artificial flavors as to be inedible.

Luckily, I was able to cap off the night in Marcus's Chicago apartment with a glass of Southern Comfort on ice. (Speaking of which, what is Southern Comfort, anyway?)